An American's Dream

 

falling asleep has never been too much of an issue for me

but waking up I often seem stuck

and still dreaming

most night's sleep is riddled with chaos, serpents, and bad deeds

I am often not in my own body

even upon awakening

I am caught in the turbulent emotions that they leave

every once in a while, though, a true love visits me

staying just long enough that I awake happy, complete, and at ease

it's an amazing feeling

lingering ever so lightly

 

I've heard that dreams are a form of neurological processing

helping us deal with our stress and life experience

this makes me feel fortunate

knowing every bit of my body

is constantly working to help ensure that I am the best version of me

even while I am sleeping

though perhaps at times disappointing to see

it gives me more than hope

knowing my foundation has been laid with these mechanisms

I am encouraged to continue growing

and

we often talk about manifestation

our forefathers built this land based on just a notion

a dream

at times a nightmare

but with ideals that continue to stand for over 200 years, unwavering

 

now

not everything discussed at the constitutional convention came to pass

some good ideas were tossed out

and some less meaningful found their way in

like dreams converging or a brainstorm

the firing of neurons

surging from various sensory inputs

at times overwhelming

fighting amongst themselves for space

for useful thoughts

on how to deal with the external stresses and personal life experiences of their time

the final draft was nothing short of exceptional

a labor of love, for country and man

a pathway preserved to the American Dream

that we are all living in

at times it is not so sweet

many of us lack picket fencing

but the freedoms guaranteed are as ever much needed

mechanisms were created that enable the document to keep breathing

a light lingering that provides a sense of security

staving off chaos, and educating against bad deeds

the thing about freedom is:

we are all responsible for our communities

who you choose to become

and each choice that you make

carrying with it repercussions

like waves on the sand, or pebbles skipping across the lake

there are ripples left

and no one but you can ensure their structure and beauty

 

perhaps one of the most important amendments was that in regards to our voting

a way to raise our hand, use our voice

free our speech from our chest and cast out more ideas

on what should be law-abiding

this great power came with a great responsibility:

to know what the fuck it is that is getting talked about

knowing your own needs is most important,

but

understanding other's is no less

with each swing of the pendulum, we find ourselves closer to division

our education must be rounded out, we must think outside our box

with or without fencing this is our home, our house

our neighbors, our self

 

myself unable to control the needs of internal nightly suffering

I try to spend my days in a more controlled state of dreaming

lighting fires to carry hope into each evening

creating totems for myself

so when I awake I know this is the dream I am creating

a beacon for others who might need the encouraging

a reminder that our life is of our own making

Perpetuity

 

Though I can no longer hold you

You visit me in my dreams

You burrow up next to me

Our souls one, without seams

I can feel your breathing

You are still soft to the touch

I speak your name gently

You answer as much

There is no better feeling

Than moments like these

Memories I will take with me forever

Until my own last breath recedes

I like to think you are still here

Around every corner and cup of tea

I close my eyes often just imagining

Awake your absence is still jarring

Making me long for sleep

A place without time

Where we continue to play joyfully

Where the rays of sun dance along your brow,

Where the water washes sand into your hair

Though I can no longer hold you

You visit me in my dreams

I take you places you had not yet been

We hold hands and frolic

We run and leap and hide

We are two souls but one

We are visitors in these bodies

Along for the ride

I can still see you breathing

Here I can hold you tight

I speak your name gently

I promise never to leave your side

There is no better feeling

Than moments like these

Memories I will create forever

And recall to you on my knees

I like to think you are still here

Watching me diligently

A guardian angel of sorts

My life's companion infinitely

It is not until death do us part

You could never be just one part

It was always you

Before I even knew

Who helped to build this heart

A place for you to exist in perpetuity

Your eternal work of art

It's Enough

 

It's enough that you exist in this world

There is no lack of communication

There is no amount that can be misunderstood

There is no bad breath in the morning

There is no tick or nook

 

There is no scheduling issue

There is no candy you snuck

There is no friend who is too annoying

Or risk that you took

 

There is no amount of groveling

No title lost

There is no hair in the sink

There is no dish misplaced

 

There is no snoring too loud

There is no styling conflict

There is no distance

Or doubt

 

There is no day too rainy

Nor one too lit

There is no moment you could lose me

There is no shroud

 

There is nothing that will jump out here

Nothing that leaves and comes back around

There is no day I magically wake up

Unhappy to see you on solid ground

 

There is no chance or luck for someone else

There is no shoe or glove that better fits

There is no story I'd rather have read aloud

 

There is no other path I'd take that didn't lead me here

Nor sacrifice I wouldn't have made

There is no other wayward wind I'd choose to sail

But the one that brought me near

 

There is no direction change

Where I don't support you dear

I only ask that you continue to exist in this world

 

It seems at times to be so frail

Caught in a delicate balance

Between those who hope and the naysayer

 

You are a light

Just bright enough

It can be seen across the sea

A docking place for those lost, and

For those who would otherwise be

 

A place of curiosity

Cavernous and rough

A place to come together

To build cool stuff

 

There is no greater creation

There is no bird, or rock

There is no other fire, nor warmth

You will always be enough

Most Days

Most days I forget all that I've lost.
It is only in the daily interactions with others
That I have moments I recall what all is missing;
Mostly this comes as a shock. "Look at all that I once had!?"
None of which I was all that deserving.
All of which I worked so hard to acquire and invest
Was but life's blessings.
Not everyone's hard work pays off, I was lucky.
And perhaps now I am not.
But
Most days I forget all that I have lost.
I feel full and free and eager and ready
There seems to me so much more in life than I was imagining.
I think of love especially.
I think of friendship and of family.
I think that perhaps what I lost was really not for me.
That it is what now lays ahead
That which I cannot fully see
Of which life is customizing an opulent thanksgiving.
None of which I will be all that deserving.
All of which I will continue to work hard to acquire and invest
Will be but life's blessings.
Not everyone's hard work pays off, I'd be so lucky
And perhaps be able to share all that I've got.
But
Most days I forget all that there is yet still to lose
I feel like time will run out not
There always seems to be more of it with each tick and tock
No deadline too important to push off
I wonder if the sense of urgency will ever come about
And then I remember life's blessings
All of those I've lost,
All of which I have,
All of the possibilities left within each day still had.
And perhaps most importantly,
The significance of my actions, being most important
After my death

Bigger Than Us

Whether it is bread crumbs or pebbling

I find myself sustained, walking on solid ground

My heart unwavering,

Even when my head is not always able to wrap itself around

I find no reason, no need, to reason with myself

In life it is our motivations that move us - 

    to higher ground

A longing for love is not fruitless, 

Even unrequited I am fulfilled

The state of being is enough - 

    to leave one vying for beauty, brilliance, and sound

Inspiring the master to craft and leader to pick up their staff

Love is a many splendid thing, 

With which you can do most anything

The pure of heart and imaginative minds

Lifting the spirit of our human kind,  

Planting seeds from the Divine - 

     for a future full and lasting for all of time

 Strange rs

The Prelude:

Special, You Are

Not discounted, but a regular item
denoting physical and intellectual exceptionalism
designed with purpose, an occasion
particular to what is only belonging within you
different and unusual
extraordinary

MIB

There once was a boy dressed in black
whose dimples gave in with each grin
who grew to a man for whom I might stand
an honorable and integral human

one to...

one to breathe you in
    like winter, summer, and spring before the fall
one to touch my lips against your skin
one to nibble at your brow
one to kiss your nose and whisper nothing
one to find your tender, your gentile parts
one to caress a work of art

ad libitum

Like a good jazz song
We may not know every note in advance
But there is joy in the beat
Up and down
In and out
Through and through
A melody to create with you

A Lion's Roar

Approaching the Canyon he bellowed
"I Love You!"
but Wind took it
and he could not hear
as Echo followed
'round the bend
landing upon another's ear

6

it starts slow
like dial up
then speeds up
transmitting messages
via protocol
Hyper text
blame it on the caffeine
still up looking for my IP
team v, at the caravansary
gets complicated, having
education done, at the organization
your domain now hun
name the system
I'll play
like it wasn't just a stroke of dumb luck
anyway

We Got This

There is nothing to lose, or win
You are sitting in the heart of God
The love here is infinite
Let yourself relax and be in the moment
Let time lapse, have fun with it
Conversation is its own art
When our two tongues
Become too tied, to speak
Let us breathe Love
Our common language
Left like a map among the stars
We followed
Because no one stopped us

Always

It's always dark here
The way I like it
It's when you shine your brightest
I dream of you knowingly
Even traveling in light-years
I may never reach you
Before thine own energy runneth out
Nevertheless I go willingly
For what is a life without a dream
Happiness without the pursuing
Will you shine brighter
I wonder
Will it be a good match
Blindly I will follow you
Cherish and honor you
Will you be a good man

The Wrights

my heart is heavy, but my spirit is light
for my heart is full and I, a wright
I silence the noise inside my head
reflect on the images, across my eyelids
know that this body is mine to give
one at a time you spoke to me
that was, after you all rushed in
what could I do but bleed for you
uneducated and not heaven sent
that's when Kindness came
to sit upon my sill
smiled so shyly, ever so slyly
I couldn't resist her will
with each flutter and each flip
I responded in jest
much for the encouragement
this was my dream, an' I
a responsibility to realize it

Sentencing

Even on the best of days
when no one else can tell
the ache of eternal suffering
sits dormant, waiting in it's cell
when it comes, it often goes
at times it's mine, at times it's yours
but every time it needs my love
and every time it needs a hug
Even on the best of days
when everything is fine
flying high and laughing long
absorbed by the sky
finding joy in all the things
reminders I'm alive, yet
there it sits, silently
a sentencing for life

Arrokoth

Like New Horizons
We fly by dwarfs
The small minded
We cooper belts here
Repair lost boys
For the long trek
A space crafted
Full of instruments
Applied physics
We made it to the Sky
Where, Olaf red
Preserved and frozen
Our birth, our death

A Surviving Mark

Somewhere in
A time and space
Stardust scattered
To find its place
A home less
Vacuumed
A resting trace

Will you...

Marry me?

Make like Love
A couple
Babies too
Just me and you;
Enter in
Our prelude

The Chase:

Olivia

 

I want to write today
I want to be in my flow
Not against my current (DC)
Within reason constantly shifting
A balancing act consistently (AC)
I am electricity
Like lightning, not pulling
I'll travel down the string
Wrapped tightly in hand
Like a theory sung out loud
On a windy day
I will thunder

You will see more
You will go further
You will create new ways
To describe days without me
Black out, Brown out, Power failure
You will wonder what
You ever did without me
A bastard child of Zeus
Or a mold of Jupiter
A Great Red Spot
Ripping the air apart
Try and get around me
With the biggest seams
No rings, but stripes and swirls
Twirls and raging girls
Romans winning
Each other over with pearls

Still fishing, Santiago
The sea is not dead
You will find yourself buoyant
Though the salt may sting
Your wounds will heal
Sterilely, a fire cleanse
From which you arise
Dreaming of all that could be
High like a kite
Dancing among the clouds
Charged and crashing into you
Satellites, Observers from another time
The Fringe is where we cuff it, right?

 

 

SN 1987, A

 

A girl fell in love with a boy
He did not know her, nor she him
But something in the stars had told
Of their coming together, an omen
Nebulous perhaps, to begin
The girl followed her heart, she wrote him
She wrote and wrote, without fail
For to know, she must confess
The longing within her, the tenderness
Never letting doubt dissuade
Never letting it creep in
This was her dream, in which she had awaken
Like, "The Dawn of a New Era… three decades ago"
She too had burst, flinging star dust
Out into the universe, carrying hope
Her light, power blazing
Brighter than a hundred million suns
He could not unsee her
Though time lapsed, while space expanded
A ring formed, enriched by the elements
Components of a life well lived
Beyond this is not X-ray vision
To see inside the box, one must be diligent
Embrace the waves of each passing region
Believe the cat will be there next season
As Spring will come again
So too will new reasons
For this universe to form
Accompanying thy love,
there is no greater meaning

Ceiling Artisan

Match maker
Match maker
Make me a Match
Wood pulp, dried grass
Steel abs, stone ass
Potassium chlorate in Pyrex
Glue, red phosphorus up next
Oh let's not react
Keeping our distance leaves us in tact
Rose colored goggles can't protect you from that
Well, then..
Find me a find
Catch me a catch, of my own
MIT grad
Scratch that
Holden out
Gotta catch me in the rye
Making bread
Drinking whiskey all night
With plans to see through
At morning's first light
Sunrise, Sunset
Some broken glass
And we are both upset
Can't forget what was said
Can't forgive what we've done
There is no getting back
What was lost or the ways things could have been
Playing the strings of my heart
Light footed as you dance above
A jester,
Beckoning for me,
Or so I thought
A fiddler,
Come to tinker,
Come to tango,
Comin' in step to my melody
Something sweet,
Something sultry,
Got foul, like poultry
Flew the coup
It's an insult to me
Where's the loyalty
Always escaping, me
Caught light, put out
Smoked, screened
Stood out, side lined
Worried about myself
No more T or A just ME
Laying down the roof
Looking up
Waiting for a sign
Created up above

The New World

After the K-Pg event

The world was anything but silent
While it rebuilt itself around me
New formations of land rose and fell
Beloved dinosaurs standing no longer
Stuck in tar, unable to feed any more
I felt great loss all around me
Yet it was here I saw for the first time
The birds developed before my eyes
I heard their first chirps
Observing as they leapt
My breath caught in my chest
Upon their first soaring
The sky was blue and blood red
The fires had not yet calmed
Volcanic debris constantly scattering
Lava rocks began forming
It was an untamed land
Not yet ready for farming
We were still scavengers
Picking at scraps, the life
Left in the corpses
Where we found our sustenance
In what had been left behind
Not yet devoured
By the gaping hole
The broken earth
The unsteady ground
We walked on
It only felt as if the world had ended
But proof lay all around us
New creatures evolved from the ashes
New plant life
New ways for breathing, to take place
In a world no smaller
And blooming with ever more might
Resilience and strength
Our genetic lifelines
Passed down throughout time
Conveying the messages
We still need to survive

0

In a place that has not been
At a time that does not exist
I kissed you once
I felt your skin upon my skin
It could not be mistaken
The energy that passed between
Forever changed in direction
A depolarization, only to be returned
Upon awakening
In this world, not yet observed
What is possible seems endless
My imagination run amuck
Making quite a mess of it
Of which I care not
I swim in the seas of no regret
I blow like the wind through the trees
I rustle the leaves
I sing, from the mountain top
And upon my knees
Knowing only the need
The craving, the desperate plead
It is here I planted the seed
I saluted the sun
Prayed to the heavens above
Not to be denied this one love
But it was only upon the horizon
I was to see, a holograph of what could be
Information collected
Having been only from my perspective
Would never be enough to create certainty
Like entropy, my memory
I began to question this reality
The one in which we kissed
But having already planted my seed
I found it impossible to leave
My love was now rooted deep
In this soil, fertile or not
It was the one worthy of the reap
My light having gathered here
In the darkness, I felt no fear
Having traveled so far to get so near
On the edge of the unknown
I found rest, a willingness to let go
Knowing the future is a place not yet been
Relative to a time not yet known

Warmth

As I woke up
from what may have been a dream
I saw your face before me
unable to make out the details
I felt your warmth
your presence from within
squinting into the darkness
adjusting to the light
I reached out for you
my grasp not catching
and into the fog you faded
I ran making helicopter motions
with my arms swinging desperately
I could not take flight without you
you were within me and yet lost
somewhere out there in the mist
too cold for breading grounds
but they say the birds call this the south
winter is not new to me, oft' caught out of season
staying too long, giving every reason
I knew you before this year, this time and space
I woke up one day and saw your face
I was scarlet draped in hair
you stood there, not giving a damn
a high hill to climb, the strong will
good things come in good time
and I knew from that very moment
from which I awoke, that you were mine
the beat of your heart, the breath in your lungs
the chromosomes which could only have come
from having been within me
always there, your presence, your light
you are the eternal warmth
with which I awake, from each night

 

 

Overridden

When I said I loved you
I meant, with you I felt safe
When you wrote this upon my leg
The word, 'Safe'
I thought to myself
What a beautiful world we now live in
One in which we both found haven
After such a treacherous road
We'd both crossed
Finding ourselves unbroken
Two whole people
Ready to face the world again
Wrapped in new love, open and willing
I'll never know what happened
Not to that day
Or that moment in time
I could not capture
I could not keep
What I was so certain then was mine
The tenderness of so many memories
Only to be lost with time
As safety became an illusion
Our words sharp as knives
This world we had created
Now broken, living separate lives
I do not remember
What other words you had written
Nor do I recall all that's been said
But I know what we had found
Was overridden
On another timeline, with a new sound
When I said I loved you
I had meant it, a thing I cannot regret
But the virus that tore through our system
Nearly left me for dead 

I Find My Heart

I find my heart
both breaks and rebuilds
itself in fractals
Shattering in perfect order
Along paths
that needed redistributing
As the shapes shift
Along with the size
Of each load-baring wall
A new dome is created
Where light is let in
Not hiding the cracks
But exposing the mortar
I am littered with
Mosaic temples and Girih shrines
Covered in universal geometric designs
Speaking to me, reaching out
Through the fabric of time
A reminder of my fate
Being part of a larger paradigm
One which I am not meant to see
From a distance, but more intimately
To know the structure
To care for it tenderly
To seal the surface
After each seismic refraction
Lay temple to pray in
Keep sanctity
Where ripples dance
In a Fibonacci romance
Where the sum of two
Is always greater than
That which preceded it

Hoo Hoo

On my frequent walks
Through the neighborhoods
Around town
I often hear an owl
Though I can not see it
I search among the trees
Knowing it is there
It's figure hidden
In the leaves, and
It reminds me of you
Like the sun and the moon
Sharing the same sky
Playing different roles
But ever present
One not always within the other's sight
But whose arrival is guaranteed
Forgiven for not always returning
At the same time
Like waves being pulled in
And out with the tide
By a celestial guide
There is rhythm in each motion
A count, a lullaby
A beat to build on
Set tempo to
The foundation of a song
Hoo Hoo
Even the birds sing to
Miles from the shore
A melody carried in the wind
The rushing roar of the ocean
Never really ending
But ebbing and flowing
Rising and falling
The cycle of precipitation
Caught in the atmosphere
A silly little bird
Having fun as the clouds draw near
Finding cover in that which is rooted
To the ground
But still reaches out
To the same sun and moon
Replenished by the same rain
Falling down
Coming from some far off coast
Having nothing better to do
Than dance along with the music
Nature's sounds
Taking lead as the Earth continues
to make its rounds

There is a Future

There is a future
That awaits us
A time and place
Specially for us
I hear the voices
Laughter surrounds us
Warmth from within
Settled but flying high
Storm clouds don’t scare us
Lightening excites us
Harnessed, projected
Catalyst of our forefront

There is a future
Not so mysterious
For I have seen it
I've felt its presence
I'm here to tell you
Not to fear it
Keep moving forward
Don't be hesitant
Made especially for you
Every moment
And through the tears, you will see
A peak protruding
A place to climb
You'll see this future
Is sublime

Yes, in this future
There will be struggle
There will be hard times
We cannot always rise
But come each day's end
We'll be the best of friends
Harvesting our growth
Turning each bend
Finding each other
Time and again
Shooting at starlight
Destinations ahead

There is a future
Might be Red
On a distant planet
On terraformed land
Where there is always something
To discover
Walking hand in hand

For us, eternally blessed

Under the sun we stood
Able bodied
Dutiful to our land
The world that had been created
For us, eternally blessed
Not righteous, but not less
A daily practice
At being our best
Cultivating harmony
In abundance
And for the many
The love between us
Bright and binding
Carried on the wings of angels
Deployed with perfect timing
It was with you I discovered
The greater significance

Under the sun we leapt
Joyful bodies
Delighted in our land
The world that we had created
For us, eternally blessed
Not cautious, but not less
A calculated decision
The sum of our best
Courting symphony
An orchestra
Played for the many
The love between us
Complex and variety
Carried on the wings of angels
Deployed with perfect timing
It was with you I discovered
The greater consonance

Under the sun we laid
Breathing bodies
On gracious land
A world evolving, still
For us, eternally blessed
Not ambitious, but not less
A worthy goal
Brought to fruition
A choreographed synchrony
Having maintained balance
Among the many
With love between us
A crescendo in tempo
Carried on the wings of angels
Deployed with perfect timing
It was with you I discovered
The greater purpose

Love is meant to be experienced. May I never stop loving. May I never stop searching for new ways to love, express love, and embrace love. May I continue to fall in love, fall for love, fall up/on love.

Note from the Author.

Author

Barbra E. Bond

Strange rs

This is peace

This is peace
When the tide comes in
Washing away
Debris along the shore
Left by the many
Onlookers, non-participants
Critics of what's been left
Creators of division
Without the ability of maths
Out of sight
But still adding up
Filling our oceans with plastic
Not snatched in the fishing nets
Scraping along the bed
Everything else getting caught
And tossed back
Death is slow
A grinding away, loss of lubricant
Bone on bone on rock
We chip away
Become sharp edges
Better tools for the slaughter
Eating whatever comes by next
Starving but well fed
This is peace
A place
Where nothing is good enough
So we create problems
A moral rot
Stuck on board
Our water filled with salt
There will be no quenching
Of this thirst
Having come from this water
Return we cannot
Ever evolving
A species transcending
And not ordinary
Unsatisfied, determined
Unwilling to settle
For what we've got:
Minds finding patterns
Others passed on
Dangerous thoughts
Revealing the human
Magnificence

Our Loving Sun

As if you knew

We needed help

Lost on an island

Too large

To communicate well

You sent a flare

A massive solar storm

Out into the darkness

The everlasting night

An expanding space

Where the magnetic energy

Polarized and surrounding us

Caught charged particles

Now dancing

Rhythmically

Interpreting a story

From a time past

When our body's spoke

Revolutions before

Language not yet w/ our tongues

Our eyes, a looking glass

Knowing our insignificance

The care we had

For each other, all there was

Gave our lives importance

Your warmth

Could only do so much

It was together

We found enough

Sustaining sustenance

Lit fires

Replicated rounded rocks

Went places

Discovered

What otherwise we could have not

Inspiring journey

To outlast

Our loving sun

Mine

taking responsibility
knowing these choices
were mine alone
I dare to look forward
to stand on my own
I will find a way through
this forest, this fog
I will not hold expectations
I will not presume
I hope for good tidings
for joy to continue to bloom
in my heart I have everything
in my lungs, more room
with my hands I hold tightly
this life I was not owed
the reasons for existing
will always be unknown
a purpose for persisting
an exercise for me to own
I dare to look forward
embracing the unknown
the end may be near
but the path not fully sown
seeds left to plant
room left to grow
reaching for the sky
what is possible to become
is mine to own

 

POST /Pardon.me

 

Rabbit Hole

Worthable

Assembling Theories

Terra

Mares

Deserted

gloriAwaitS

 

Legacies:

Winning Time

Protect & Serve

Pledge, Allegiance

Antifa

GrownGrumps

Where

in the darkness

 

 

Rabbit Hole

 

I wish there was a way to reach you, to find a way to help relieve you. It’s an insatiable quest, making you only a guest - at your own birthday party. I wish there was something I could tell you that would make the longing dissipate.

You must learn to Live. You must learn to Love. You must learn to Laugh. You must Learn, my Love.

I wish there was a way to teach you, not yet have I traveled those plains. Please don’t believe that I’ve left you, I will never forget your screams. Searching for a way to reach you. Longing to show you I care. Lost in the rain; I pledge to find you. This is both truth and D.A.R.E.

My Love,

Huddled and scarred you are not see’d less, the Embassy Ball awaits you; Flower Girl, Bloomed, New Spread, Eagle Scout. You let it all out My Love, there is nothing to be ashamed of. I wish there was a way to reach you, unburden the weight; I see you. Always making a stand, shoulder width, armored up. It’s your story Arc, but tonight lay down your sword. May we chase rabbits again? Remember a time when childhood rhyme was more than a way to pass the time. It brought us the New World, Wonderland, TF-X “drive!”. Hope, for a future still being dreamt up; divine.

Alice, pacing again, if only I could reach you. Keep you safe, keep you warm. If only I knew the way to reach you, I’d hold you in my loving arms.

 

 

Worthable

 

Did you know your self-worth as a young child? Did it ever cross your mind how powerful you were; the miracle of each breath you took. Did it ever feel like the air was stolen for you from someone else, or that it was a gift to you, free without a cost.

Did you know your self-worth as you took your first steps? Did you feel the ground you walked on belonged to anything other than your feet, or knees when you’d fall. Could you imagine that this was not yours to once again stand upon.

Did you know your self-worth when you learned how to jump, to cartwheel through the fields? How your hands held you up even when your legs wobbled and kicked landing in a heap, were you not still proud? The act itself feeling an accomplishment.

Did you know your self-worth when the bully pushed you down? Did you forget the power in standing back up upon the very earth that god had gifted you. When you gasped for air, that could not be denied, with each punch. Did you forget, is that why you chose to stay down.

Did you forget what you had been given? Choice. A Free Will. The ability to continue to breathe, to become … The Great. Did you forget your self-worth, thus taking no action to overcome. Blaming the bully for what they had done and defining now ‘Power’ as an image of them.

Did you forget? Your self-worth was not tied up in them, but the feet you stood on, and the air in your lungs; the hands you used to shape your world, even when upside down. Did you know your self-worth through the actions you took, making you strong. Integrity and character established must be practiced lifelong.

 

 

 

Assembling Theories

 

There is an art to assembly

Like Smalls you take inventory

Size up the structure and deliberate

Listenin' to Moms take up a teammate

The possibilities seem endless, but are

Known to be confined none the less

 

Building bridges to fill the gaps

Between biology and physics

We are always trying to predict what comes next

Theorizing our own origins

Objects under duress

Coerced and threatened, not always acting our best

 

More than stressed

Our histories intertwined, recursive

Pursuant of the sublime

Creating classes so that we might better define

The configuration of this point in time

Our framework lacking the ability to unite

 

Constrained by the finite, a sense of being limited

In strength and might, broken on the inside

Was it not Cain's jealousy that ended Abel's life

Letting emotions drive, the mechanisms of bitterness

Unfulfilled lives, bondless and out of sight

 

Being too complex to replicate

The novelty of individuality, lost on the atomic

Minds unwilling to self-reflect

Always taking the shortest path

Unwilling to combine new lessons with old rhymes

Building fences in a straight line

 

When waves and arches do just fine

Demanding less resources, still

Standing for the longest time

Strung up and indexed

A representation of our lives

Only increasing in size

 

Molecular information easily copied

With descriptions left undefined

Skill sets left unquantified

Producing no known value

Muti-steps in every wrong direction

On a loop, stacking up each indiscretion

 

Universally, unrealistic

Dynamics unnaturally complex

Searching for validation in chemicals

Cast down from heaven, not sent

Selecting my path, impassioned

 

Morphing and grafting images

Inside my head, using messenger

Thoughts encrypted, to which access was not meant

Targeting objects unmeant

Catalysts in the downfall

Not asked to rebuild the environment

 

Co-conspirators

Single celled organisms

Copied and uncomplex

Look at US

Wandering the halls of Modern Art

Asking which box we all fit

 

 

Terra

 

In the midst I see you fade away

When I need you most you take more time

I stay right where you left me

    hoping for my next handout, leg up, back bend;

    I learned how to do somersaults, but no one explained it quite like this

Getting back on my feet, I stumbled and laughed at it.

 

Most parts of my body have a mind of their own

    and often are going in different directions.

Eventually we come together though.

United We Stand. A Sovereignty. My Land

    to care for, to tend to, support supply and demand.

 

Alone we come into this world, alone we will leave it,

    and alone is also the journey in between it. 

The relationships we create with ourselves are the only ones truly needed.

When you find compliments to your music, dance fearlessly;

    inspire your muses

Open the gates for only the truest.

 

Loneliness is not to be dreaded it is a reminder of there being room for more

    more ‘me time’, more opportunities,

    more discovery of that which we do not yet know.

We may have lost a dream, or had to let one go

    My Love, there is always Tuscany

    Under the Sun

 

Perhaps in your loneliness you will find a new interest;

    this is not to say you will find new joy or love, but

You will find a new flow, a way to pass the time

    while life cooks up its next course to serve you

Constant preparation for each trepidation

    in the midst it all dissipates.

 

 

Mares

 

Night mares living in a dream,

But it's always a nightmare.

Books of revelations, knights on mares

Signs of the apocalypse, no one cares.

Royal at Windsor, small men riding high

May the best man win; Anything Goes

In love or war, what’s left is what's to work with

All is fair when there is nothing left to share.

Starving from our own form of sustenance,

What keeps you fed?

The salt of my tears, the taste of my bread?

Is it the juice in my fridge, or the temperature I kept?

 

Nightmares each morning

In my head, crazy

    that this is always what had to be

Born with scArlet fever, but

    too stubborn to lay down and die.

Dedicated to the terra, mothered cradled tight;

Cometh from the land, for which may I steward

My rose bed, Care for the seeds I left,

    dreams with ample room

Reaching, stretching out toward the sun light

Morning dew left from the humid night, not arid

But thirsty, hungry for life

Hopeful, not every dream will I awake from

Hurting, growing pains,

    There is no more waiting on the Queen

 

Lost in translation long ago,

    messages meant to bring us closer

Expressions of honesty, left us drained,

Crucifixions for testimony, our hands stained.

There's no turning back, not staged

One chance, and sometimes we aren't ready yet.

HINT: Stay disciplined, no matter the night you kept

You've got this shit, 'slayed dragons in a world apart

Played every part: dragon, pilot, artillery, good shot,

    spotted, snake, spineless, a corrupt heart,

Found my fresh start, mastered the page,

Fell in love with the art, found the exit, in-sight

No clowns, no poltergeist, won't suck me in

Won't lose my fight, living in my dream,

A sixth sight, each night,

    guiding all 17 hands to new heights

Me and my Shire re-writing the end of times

The horsemen are covered in wreaths of dandelions

Little girls upon My Little Ponies,

    unable to control themselves

Too free to recognize that they are still screeching

Fauns in the new world, fallin’ out

Came to and just walked out,

    had enough Vanilla Sky

In control and it's lights out,

 

Living in my nightmare,

When I scream, does anyone else hear?

 

 

Deserted

 

Lost, in all the deceit; it's been years

all they had on me was a hot temper

my bad, got tired of staying so sweet

under all this heat, nowhere to run to

blessed are the nights when I get some sleep

stabbed in the back, misrepresented

no tuna, dolphin meat

top of the food chain, still getting eat

Flipper, can't believe his eyes

once loved and adored, getting beat in The Cove,

won't be producing no more

like pharaoh, lost his first kin

hardened hearts, learned repentance

the quest

before being granted each of the ten commandments

still in the wilderness

figuring out how the rule of law applies to this.instance

"Well, it says right here..."

"Yes, but how does that apply to this?"

a sword will not fix the relationship

milk and honey is returned when a coordinated String

of statements using ifs and references, runs

according to the past

valid parameters, passed

 

no crocodile tears, it hurts

eat or get eat, leaves us all scrred

troubled, hearing imprred

can't say my rs

still wuning, humming, dancing

to my own beat, 'cause

I'm in love with it

a diamond in the rough, raw, and dumb with it

 

built castles in the sand

manufactured an island

private class

no global calling

a place to rollback, relax

implement some stacks

aristocratic, a project pre-packaging classes

some methods for their choosing

efficiency isn't leaving us more time for snoozing

we are "your tired, your poor, your huddled masses"

waiting to be called but classless

left alone in grief and sadness

talking to mirages

got lost in the madness

 

 

gloriAwaitS

 

Princess!

They said someone killed the princess.

Our Lady Di, Beautiful

Hollywood actress, Marilyn

Rocked that dress, Airborne

Amelia, you inspired us

Now, we're crashing down

Sally, Ride with us

We need to jet-i-son-out, Light Speed

Stacey, Abraham said unequivocally you were a need

Madam President, Lincoln Freed

It's our time to lead, women of the world

Every creed, stand with us

Let them hear us rip at the seams

We are Mankiller Active

We are Lady Bird Blossoms and Beeton Manners

We are Sweet Sixteens and Quinceañeras

We are found at every level

Royal Family

We are Queens

We decide what we do in the kitchen

Creole, New Orleans

Daughters of the Renaissance

Try and tell us what Freedom means

Cord cut - No Lady, No Luck

They said someone killed the princess

Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto

We will not fall in toe

Malala Yousafzai, Paula-Mae

Be it Weekes, Tabago we go far

Island bound

Trini'a father and mother a nation

We're making all sorts of sounds

We need salvation, princess!

They said someone killed the princess,

Silenced

No longer awaiting the crown.

 

 

Legacies:

Winning Time

 

First Divorce

Two Year Old

Ex was a Cop, but stole your best friend.

This was not the end.

 

Terrorized your new family

Pulled over, harassed at every stop

Grocery shopping was more like a weekly interrogation ending with a treat,

    "For being so quiet and staying so sweet.

    Apples and oranges are OK.

    No papayas from now on.

    He'll get his in good time.

    Now, let's just move on."

 

And he did, didn't he.

Flipped that car, high speeds.

Like I am sure falling in love with that kind of man must be.

It wasn't just him though

I don't remember where y'all had to go,

but it was just Kyle and me in that single-wide mobile-home.

What were we doing that day?

Before they showed up banging on every door and window. Walls, Tin, felt it,

cave in; maybe a part of me is still there.

Sirens on, lights flashing. Who were these men, in uniform, making demands, in aggressive stance.

We had been playing on the floor with Hot Wheels and Tonka trucks, that's right, that's how it had began. In his room, when we first heard them coming up. I peeked out, it was only us and one other house at the end of this drive and as we saw them circle our home we ran under my bed to hide.

The only sanctuary I could think of.

As we hid in the clear, I was wondering why on earth the police were there, my little brother, crying, asked me why his dad was causing us so much fear. I was speechless. I still am. I am sorry for all that has happened. I am sorry our fight for justice never really began.

Everything really did just happen so fast. It was night, in gown, and before too long it was your ass calling the cops on my dad; and now those men were in my room while I sat at the edge of the bed trembling, "again, I tried my best to answer your questions, I don't know what happened, I was sleeping before you barged in. Their shit, is between them!"

But as I was soon to discover, my words would never mean anything to them.

flashForward - 16 - my roommate convinced me to report my rape; 36 in 7 months, still waiting on that court date.

In the land of the free and the home of the brave we speak our truths; and I've heard about those rape kits stacking up. Where’s the crime if there’s no punishment.

People left to face their abusers every day; it gets fucking rough;

and you know what, being deaf wouldn't even be a valid excuse

we all know what Helen Keller was able to do.

It almost feels like you're ignoring us.

And I worry based on my life experience.

What other families do you have in the Hot Seat that’s taking time away from being able to tackle these repeats; threepeats.

I worry that you can't see how your actions still have an effect on me.

Deliver me to the promised land. Where our liberty, and justice, is guaranteed.

Where I can be at peace.

A place where pursuits of happiness are dreams coming true and not a green screen tackling fake news. Killing TIME news stories cost you, Strange Fruit; you got us learning how to make boots. We strapped up and it's the winner’s news.

 

 

Protect & Serve

 

To maintain public order and provide ongoing safety we need to rethink what it means to prevent criminal activities; we need to reevaluate the efforts we put into detecting and investigating certain criminal activities over other criminal activities, because the ways in which you're apprehending us is a real threat.

regarding enforcement of the law or "having a zero tolerance on crime."

I implore you, use compassion and responsiveness; our needs are going unmet, our human rights ignored.

These expectations were preset, that "governments are instituted among men" to secure the rights of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

The reluctance we are seeing now to evolve was not unexpected, he continued with,

"mankind are more disposed to suffer while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed."

Or, It's the devil we know

and it makes us uncomfortable dealing with the pressure of re-imagining what law enforcement could look like, because it is not yet insufferable for White America.

"Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness" go undefined yet are the sacred values we still hold as individuals that inspired our forefathers to cross an ocean, defy their king, and institute a government to secure against all else.

 

if you are here to protect us

if you are here to serve us

prevention begins at home:

feed us, house us, educate us

provide us work, healthcare, retirement

detecting and investigating activities are time consuming and costly; prioritize based on potential long-term gains in the securing of the future generations' lives, liberties, and pursuits.

Enforcement of the law should be an act of compassion and justice.

Your responsiveness to our needs is necessary to preserve peace, maintain public order, and ensure safety for all.

 

 

Pledge, Allegiance

 

Gay, Fag, Queer

Happy, Lit, Awe'd

 

I wrote this language

    defined each syllable

        denoting each facsimile

Given credit, where credit's due

What's the cost of a life to you?

 

Stayed hidden, just long enough

    but never long enough

    but never soon enough

Out of the closet

Colorful, layered, mix-match matching

    studded, accessorized

Claire didn't haggle, gave you the bottom price

    looking like a hundred dimes

Slashing half off half price

Meier & Frank, those were the times

Walking out like the last season

    underpriced, overlooked, disregarded

Just like me, so I flaunted it

Identified with each garment you valued less

    because you lost your interest

Never good enough

    but Always Good Enough

High Quality, Durable, Built to Last

LeviStrong, Gold Digging, at the BIT, mining

    because I'm on my own

Followed the Oregon Trail, brought me,

    A Pan,

No free loading, road in, burning bridges

    I never intended to mend

    It's their Red Sea to cross, and

    I'm still here, pray'n for 'em

Gay, Fag, or Queer

I'm happy, I'm lit, I'm at the wheel

    steering it

Learned how to "ghost ride my whip"

    sometimes we don't have the cash

Still gotta to fill that tank

    on empty longer than I realized it

Running on fumes, forgot to gauge the trip

Faith - an inevitable part of this relationship

    a Trustfall, into the Abyss

 

"1,2,3,4 I won't take no anymore

  5,6,7,8 I want you to be my mate

  1,2,3,4 You're the one that I adore

  5,6,7,8 Don't run from me because this is fate."

 

Gay, Fag, Queer

    there are Stranger Things than this

In the darkness,

    Where the Wild Things Are

You'll find your best friend,

    a bond so strong, not periodic

    but, like discovering a new element

Self-respect, can't diminish it

    the space I take up,

I devoured you

    and just took a shit

    smelt like roses, Teen Spirit.

Buckle-up, it's time we discuss

    the reasons I hurt like this

You've denied us what once had been promised

    The Pursuits of Our Happiness

 

  1,2,3,4 We won't take No anymore

  This Nation, Under God, Indivisible

  You're the one that I adore

  Don't run from me, because this is fate

    Gay or Straight, it's Liberty and Justice for All

  5,6,'78

 

 

Antifa

 

my brothers and sisters

my brothers and sisters, breathe

you are needed here with us

please breathe my dearest, breathe

my brothers and sisters, please

find a way to put your heart at ease

breathe, take in all that you need

I see you united, if only against the nazi,

on which we can agree

my brothers and sisters

I know that you're in need

I know you're stuck staring at their greed

I know peace did not come when it was declared

all men were freed

my brothers and sisters I plead, breathe

the moment calls for calmer minds

prevailing will require critical thought

not inaction, not reaction

action in step with each moving part

I wonder at your ability to conspire

now conspirare, breathe together

a moment to calm your minds

consider your futures, build a lifeline

for future generations to be apart of

our tempers are high, we've blown our top

will it cost us this moment

or determine our cell block?

be smart, we need leaders with strategy

and heart

destruction and chaos leaves us more broken

and torn apart

Unite us,

I implore you to use art

my brothers and sisters

together we can win

with peaceful resistance

our nation can mend

what's been broken from the start

 

 

GrownGrumps

 

Grief

The silent but deadly

Killer of all joy

Cutter of flowers

Uprooted from their warm beds

Grief

Stricken by the chill

Disturbed, shocked to the root

Broken concrete and brown dirt

Grief

 

Grief

Trumpeting with each new hour

Upon each new spring

Flocking together

Our miserly company

Unable to find solace

Grief

Indebted, but unable to pay back.

A role you created

Bringing meaning to life

Like God, but not god, but My God

Grief

From your womb, from your seed

Grief

Only possible because of you

Grief

Now eliminated

Now emancipated

Now ending

Now trying to begin

Now failing

Now trying to begin, again

Now failing, again

Grief

 

Grief

We made plans yesterday

Grief

My best man yesterday

Grief

A blow to the head, heart, and groin

Yesterday, Fucking Grief

My baby fucking grief

My body fucking grief

My mind - fucking grief

This world - fucking grief

 

Hamas attacked Israel last week

Hungry, angry, and uprooted

Israel was created by the Brits

Supporting the Zionist movement

Efforts to provide sanctuary for Jews

    those nazi Basterds

1923 Palestine was the chosen land

Having once been conquered by David

The One True King,

Zazu, a tenderly woven nest

    A basket to keep all his eggs in

    A fertile land, buzzing with bees

    Rich with milk and honey

    Plenty for the many habibi

    Plenty for aini, albi, haya

    Plenty for the new

Walled off

An early form of gentrification

Left the land of Palestine a new hue

Revolting Arabs

Revolting Arabs

Revolting Afghans

    Cold War Heros

    Like Vietnam Vets

    Homeless and starving

    because of some Washington brats.

Revolting Iranians

ISIS

IS what it IS

An offshoot of Mohammad's Dynasty

The Saudis lay claim to

Allah yahmina

God protect us

We are all your children

Nahn jamiean 'atfaluk

We babble and babble to no prevail

We rabble in the rubble of a broken HIStory

Lacking sovereignty, lacking security

Lacking silver linings, werewolves at Mineh

Ethereal beings stubbornly unswayed

Growing more righteous with each passing day

Growing our grieving, greatening our sorrow,

A hundred years lost in the desert, whilst raining

missiles from another land.

Where

 

Where has our logic gone

Where does our good sense lie

Where do we begin to notice

    No one wins when it's an eye for an eye

Where do we go from here

    So many have been lost

    Our hearts broken open, hemorrhaging

    Paying the ultimate cost

    Borders undefined, boundaries crisscrossed

    Within, inherent lies

Where is the truth we seek

    Clouded in corrupted minds

Where do we come together

Where are the silver lines

    A yellow brick road to follow

    No wizards, but dandy Lions

Where has our good god gone

Where do our shepherds hide

Where have we preserved our peace

    For it to be multiplied

Where are the rising stock/stalk

    Lost, among the flock

Where are the heaven sent

Where do the scriptures rest

    Describing the archetype

    Outlining our next steps

Where is our reason to hope, in these darkest of times

 

 

in the darkness

 

perhaps it is inevitable

that as we are both opposite particles

we must annihilate each other

to some degree

before we succumb to balance in our universe

ever expanding, at different rates

our thoughts produced are not the same

and the friction drawing us

in mass will only ever end poorly

where no one can win

a cold void vacuum of space

desolate of life

empty and finite

unable to continue our exploring

unanswered questions to our origins

now & forever lost to time

a reminder

that this too was of our making

a construct winding

with tensions rising

the tick and tocking

having no ear to land upon

be it deaf or that of hard hearing

happening in waves

a sound still reaching out

radio signals sent, with hopes left

never knowing if they were found

thinking of us

our fragility

life being but a happenstance

is quite frightening

precious moments

not wasted or treated carelessly

but designed with purpose

cared for tenderly

hidden figures

with which light will not interact

clouding around us

interfering in ways

we are still trying to predict

be it a slim disk

right through the center of us

there is some certainty

of its existential existence

its nudging of us

toward our continuance

in the darkness

where it is the hardest to see

hope finds a way

for you to feel its presence 

gifts made abundant

in friendly faces

in rhythms and rhymes

the predictability of math

scales and timelines

these structures astound

bringing us closer

to what we might call God

but also,

to what we might find in each other

having been made

from the same stardust

particles found throughout the universe

carefully woven together

here for us

 

 

 

I would like to think we are capable of more than what we have yet accomplished. I would like to think that there is more life for us all to live and experience and for which to be present. In the darkest of times I had always been under the illusion the goodness of people would shine through as perhaps the light of annihilating dark matter particles from millions of years ago do. I am no longer under such an illusion, but I believe in all of us there is good and that as long as we continue to pursue the light within we will find each other again, in this darkness; that we will see our humanity is greater than the color of our skin, or our place of origin. That when given the right tools for the right jobs we, together, can accomplish anything. 

We are all responsible.

 

Note from the Author.

Author

Barbra E. Bond
Post /Pardon.me